Daring to be Vulnerable

Following on from my last post about asking for help, I would like to write a bit about being vulnerable. Just like asking for help is a big thing and something we see as a weakness, being vulnerable is also something we try to avoid. In fact, when we ask for help, and admit that we are fallible, imperfect human beings, we make ourselves vulnerable.

It can be very frightening. When you are vulnerable your walls of defense, which protect you from hurt and harm, are lowered and you are ‘just’ you. Pure. Open. Sensitive. Vulnerable. When you are in this state it is easier for others to hurt you, if they wish, and during our lives we all experience this; we bare our soul and heart and we are cut down by people we trust, people we love. Mostly they simply don’t realise what they are doing. Or else they too, are terrified of being vulnerable and showing you their true self. Because that is really what happens. When you are vulnerable, your most sacred self becomes visible and all your fear, pain and hurt is visible for all to see. This can be unsettling for others, especially if they themselves are unaware and are hidden away in their fortress. Seeing this side of someone else starts chipping away bits of the defence walls and that can be unnerving.

However, being with someone who is vulnerable can also be beautiful, inspiring and the most precious thing you will ever experience. If you are willing and able to open yourself up and meet another person on that level, you can really connect. And transform.

Yes, there is pain, fear and hurt, but there is also serenity, peace and hope. You can be seen and accepted as you truly are and that is such a powerful gift. It can be hard, because you get in touch with all your emotions and feelings, but there is also great healing to be found. It allows you to connect with your inner wisdom and also to connect to other people’s inner wisdom.

It can be a big step to take, so make sure that you are in safe hands. And remember; you are not weak, you are not doing anything “wrong”. You are brave and you are opening up to allow healing, transformation and a deeper sense of power to flow through you.

Vulnerability is “being all in. (…) Vulnerability is not weakness. (…) Our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose; the level to which we protect ourselves from being vulnerable is a measure of our fear and disconnection. (…) Rather than sitting on the sidelines and hurling judgement and advice, we must dare to show up and let ourselves be seen. This is vulnerability.”

From the book “Daring Greatly – How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead” by Brené Brown